The bitch is back and bitchin', bitches.

Life has been absolutely crazy. I've tried to pinpoint since when, but really, it's been particularly crazy in varying ways since 2007. But, I think it was in december of last year that things really took a drunken swandive off the deep end.

For much of 2008, i was in a very dark place, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I was a stranger in a wasteland of a city, and felt like a trespasser in what was supposed to be my own home. There came a point at which I was pretty much depressed and angry all of the time, constantly and consistently. It took it's toll on my health as well- it seemed I caught a cold or flu every month or so (of course, the constant flow of germs being brought into the household contributed as well), also, at one point I developed a headache that lingered for two months, fluctuating in severity from mild irritation to dizzying migraine. Artistically drained, creative energy snuffed, my sketchbooks and art supplies collected dust on the shelves- an agonizing state for an artist at heart. All around, I was just generally unwell. And all the while biting my tongue, biding my time, rolling with the punches... feeding the cancerous darkness... Breaking down, fading, freezing... ...until December- when, in a month that brings ice- I found my fire.

...And from the first lick of flame, an inferno of chaos was set ablaze- a cleansing fire, ravenously burning away the sickly deadwood, to leave an ashen landscape on which to grow and begin life anew.

Since December's inferno, kyu and/or I, among other things:
-came a hair close to exploding when the fuel tank on our car FELL OFF.
-became estranged from a beloved longtime friend, due to a rather epic faux pas.
-have been homeless. (ironically, the catalyst which ultimately drove us to said homelessness was one who once saved us from homelessness...)
-lived in a motel. (for two months. it was actually kind of nice.)
-nearly lost our first car.
-were nearly pummeled to death by a tire (rim and all!) that quite literally flew off of a truck on the Ontario highway. (thank kyu for his keen senses, if he hadn't swerved at the precise moment he did, the tire would have come right through the windshield!)

Details be damned, because quite frankly, contemplating those events still gives me a head- and brain-ache. Suffice to say, it's been a hell of trip, these past several months...

The smoke has recently cleared and sprigs and sprouts of brown and green are finally poking up through the ash... Kyu and I have finally found a home. In Milo- a beautiful 3-bedroom house, on a dead-end street, next to the Sebec river. Finally, a place of our own that we can truly call home. I think this pic taken from our deck during a sunshower says it all:

[link]

I am rising, shaking off the dust, and returning to my self. And it feels pretty fuckin' groovy.

Now. Assuming my poor ancient Frankenstein's monster of a computer holds up, I will be getting back on the ball here on DA.